Halloween Resurrection Review

By: Michael Lee

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Tyra Banks, Busta Rhymes
Year:2002

What the f*ck Hollywood? I know I'm about ten years late on this, but I'm pretty sure the 8th installment of the original "Halloween" movie series is one of the worst pieces of sh*t I've seen in a while. The premise is Busta Rhymes wants to host a webshow about teenagers who spend the night in the house of infamous serial killer Michael Myers... And i shouldn't have to tell you that this premise is one of the most crappy things I've ever heard, let alone witnessed.

Though I must say that the premise of this movie isn't the thing that bothers me most however. Really, the thing I dislike is just how flat out unoriginal this movie is. One of the main reasons I enjoy horror movies is the creative deaths they display. Each death in this movie has totally been used before, and not even by the "Halloween" series. "H:R" has ripped off every kill from the "Friday the 13th". Besides the cliched stab a f*cker 34 times, there is a scene where a smack-talking black guy dukes it out the serial killer. Sound familiar? That happened in "Jason Takes Manhattan", but instead of throwing punches, homeboy here throws paprika, and instead of getting his head punched the f*ck off, he just gets stabbed. So at least they changed it up a tad. But wait, what about Tyra Banks? She was found stabbed and hanged just like the black chick in "Friday... Part III"? Coincidence? Maybe. But wait, there is more! A scene where a dude gets his head squeezed to the point his eyes bleed is also featured... Just like in "Friday... Part III", only that guy's eye popped out o his f*clog face! They ripped off a scene from a (at the time of "H:R's" release) 15 years old and actually made it lamer.

Also, the writers in this movie are even stupider than most who are in the horror business. Am I really to believe that at the last minute in "Halloween H20", Myers beat up a paramedic and put his mask on him which led up to the supposed death scene from the previous movie? And am I to assume Busta Rhymes learned Kung Fu from the ninja movie he was watching at the beginning of the film? Lastly, why is it that when a serial killer starts to kill the characters, the ones that are being stalked find I better to find in a basement instead of walking outside and running away. There is even a scene where a character makes it to the roof of the house and escaped Myers, only to go right back inside and nearly meet her demise? Why could she have not climbed down? Oh yeah, cause then the movie would make sense.

I'd give "Halloween Resurrection" a 2, and that's mainly because, and I'm probably going to Hell for this but, I enjoyed Busta Rhymes hilariously bad performance. If there is one movie to watch this Halloween, this movie isn't it.

 

2 out of 10 Super Scary Serial Killer's Hockey Mask.