The Spirit Review

By: Michael Lee

Starring: Eva Mendes, Samuel L. Jackson, Paz Vega
Year: 2008

Holy sh*t! This movie is something else! I can't even really put my thoughts on this movie into words. It's just so... Indescribable. But I shall try. If anything, there were three really awesome parts about this movie that I enjoyed. I will list them for you in no particular order:

1) Samuel L. Jackson is The Octopus- The Octopus is The Spirit's mortal enemy, and Sam Jackson gives him a flare that I believe no other actor could have pulled off. In the comics, The Octopus is only recognized by wearing a pair of gloves, but in this movie Sam Jackson's The Octopus wears pimp outfits, Nazi uniforms, cowboy clothes, and samurai robes. He's large than life and as he states, he "owns 8 of everything", including an 8 barreled pistol. Sam turned what could have been an absolutely cheesy villain into an absolutely umm... Well he's still cheesy, but in only a way that Samuel Mutha F*ckin' Jackson could he cheesy.

2) This movie is obviously something only Frank Miller could concoct- I recognize Frank Miller as the guy who wrote "All-Star Batman & Robin" a comic book series enjoyable in it's own ridiculous right. The series is notable for being an over the top Batman tale, which aside from featuring the average violence, heavy swearing, and excessive cleavage/babes in skimpy lingerie, contains scenes involving batman actually killing cops without moral obligation, Robin painting an entire room AND Batman himself yellow just so they could talk to the Green Lantern, and a cover of one of the issues that is nothing but Wonder Woman's rear end. Did I mention the Nazi Boob Lady? All I can say is I vouch for her to be the enemy in the 3rd Christopher Nolan Batman movie (just you know, a little less manly an a little more Jessica Simpson-y. F*ck it, just cast Jessica Simpson I the role! I'd be first in line for that masterpiece, just don't give her that stupid hair-do!). But the over-the-topness doesn't stop there as it is carried on to this movie. I'm not talking about how cartoony it is. I HATE how cartoony it is! "Sin City" was co-directed by Frank Miller, and it managed to be over-the-top and not cartoony. But this movie seemed to fail in that area (more on that later). I guess what I'm trying to say is that I enjoy Frank Miller, and this movie featured many of his quirks.

3) Eva Medes gotta donk!- this is by far my favorite part of the movie. The Spirit has just track down Sand Seref (Mendes) unable to believe his former love has become a jewel thief. He enters her apartment to find her wearing nothing but a towel. And believe me, it's no long until that towel hits the floor and you get an eyeful of Eva ass. It's wonderfully epic, and nobody cannot like this. I mean look! at! it! (all four of those links are nsfw so click at your own risk.)

So I believe this movie deserves a... 2? Yes a 2 at best. What? You thought I liked this piece of sh*t?! How dare you! This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It took me forever just to decide on three things i actually liked about this movie and if it didn't contain Sam Jackson, Eva Mendes booty, and Frank Miller-isms (each earning this movie around .66 of a Nerdism Nerd point each) this would be probably get a rating in the negatives! It was just too cartoony, too confusing, and too stupid for anybody to enjoy and I'm sure this is an insult to comic book movies everywhere. "Catwoman" was more entertaining than this! At least it had Halle Berry in a skimpy leather catsuit for a good portion of the film. Sheesh. I say avoid this movie at all costs. Getting to see Eve Mendes' butt wasn't even worth this.

 

2 out of 10 Nerdism Nerds.