It's Valentine's Day as I'm writing this, meaning 1.5/12 of 2010 is over. This also means that 1.5/12 of the 2010 movie year is over. We've seen much of the bad (Leap Year, Dear John) and the ugly (Tooth Fairy, The Spy Next Door), but unfortunately not many good films (Youth in Revolt is the closest we've come and really that's pushing it). So I'm going to take a look at 3 movies coming out in each of the next 10.5 months that has the potential to be extremely good, incredibly bad, and/or frightfully ugly.

February:

Shutter Island
Release: February 19, 2010
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Kingsley, Jackie Earle Haley

Martin Scorsese is pretty dope, and that's an understatement. The main reason I believe this movie will be the epitome of Psycho Thrillers is because Scorsese said himself he took inspiration from, Unicron himself, Orson Welles' movies. And yes, the movie I associate the greatest movie director/voice artist with is the 1986 Transformers movie. He played a f*cking robot that turned into a planet that ate other planets! How badass is that!? If that's any hint at what Scorsese drew inspiration from, then we are in for a treat my friends.

Now the movie's I place in the mediocre section are movies that I'm undecided on. They obviously have the potential to be both good and bad, some even have the potential to be pretty ugly, which is an oxymoron I don't feel like bothering with at the moment. Therefore, instead of forcing myself to pick a side, I'll just toss these monkey wrenches into this category.

The Crazies
Release: February 26, 2010
Starring:Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Joe Anderson

I remeber being scared sh*tless by the original George Romero "Crazies" when I was a kid. I recently rewatched it and I'm pretty sure I was more frightened and even more so entertained by that last Child's Play movie (The seed one? Sure.) The previews look pretty alright, and I can see the kept a lot of the original material, which is a win lose seeing how boring the original material was, but compared to the badass 1973 movie poster that went along with the original, this movie falls a tad flat. But if movie posters are any sign of how good movies are supposed to be, "THE CARS THAT EAT PEOPLE" should've been the world's first Avatar.

Cop Out
Release: February 26, 2010
Starring: Tracy Morgan, Bruce Willis, Adam Brody

I love Bruce Willis, and I really f*cking love Kevin Smith, however, I do not love the trailers for this movie at all. They're seriously unfunny, and that actually frightens me a little. The movie has a great premise sure, two cops beat the hell out of criminals and drug lords all for a rare baseball card, and Kevin Smith said himself, "...the whole movie is like cops who are practically married but not actually, and, I mean, that's right up my alley. It's like Dante and Randal as cops.", but in all honesty I'd rather have just seen that movie, "Clerks: Cops".

March:

Alice In Wonderland
Release: March 5, 2010
Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Alan Rickman

Planet of The Apes aside, Tim Burton is a great director. Putting him in charge of one of the most dark and trippy books of all time is as natural as choosing Indiana Jones to lead an army in a war against Nazis, African slave masters, and to some extent aliens. Also, casting Jack Sparrow, Hans Gruber, and Sauromon the White in previously mentioned dark and trippy movie just adds to it's badassary. Considering how there isn't too many other movies worth checking out come March, this is sure to be a smash hit.

Hot Tub Time Machine
Release: March 26, 2010
Starring: Craig Robinson, John Cusack, Crispin Glover

Wikipedia says: "In 2010, a group of unsatisfied men (John Cusack, Rob Corddry, Clark Duke, and Craig Robinson) return to the ski resort where they used to party when they were younger and get thrown back in time to their younger days in 1986 in their Jacuzzi." I say: "That's one of the best premises for a comedy I've ever heard (at least since 2010 started)". I absolutely love Craig Robinson and I really think he needs to star as a leading man for once. At the moment, it seems this will be the closest we get.

How To Train Your Dragon 3D
Release: March 26, 2010
Starring: Jonah Hill, Gerard Butler, Christopher Mintz-Plasse

I really want to dislike this movie. I've avoided all the promotions like a plague, as I am a hard core Pixar fanboy and despise almost everything Dreamworks Animation puts out (Excluding Monsters Vs. Aliens and Kung Fu Panda). But dammit it's hard to hate this movie with the cast they've lined up. Gerard Butler, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, and Craig f*cking Ferguson! Therefore, I may have to check out this movie, even if it feels like my intestines are being sucked out of my ass when the Dreamworks Animation logo shows up.

April:

Furry Vengeance
Release Date: April 30, 2010
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Dick Van Dyke, Brooke Shields

Apparently, this movie is going to be a live-action version of "Over the Hedge". They creators couldn't even vary it up a little either, oh no. It's literally about a real estate developer who faces off with a group of angry animals, led by a raccoon, when his housing developments encroaches too far into the animal's wilderness. That is the SAME. F*CKING. PLOT. Brendan Fraser hasn't been in a good movie in ten years, and it honestly looks like he isn't even trying to be anymore. He should just let sleeping dogs lie and go... like, die.

Death at a Funeral
Release Date: April 16, 2010
Starring: Martin Lawrence, Chris Rock, James Marsden

I really don't know how to say this with out sounding racist, but rarely are there any movies who target audience is black people funny to anybody who isn't black. Friday is an exception. A few of Eddie Murphey's early stuff is too. But sh*t like Big Mamma's House and Last Sunday needs to stop. I hoping this remake of a British 2007 movie (directed by Yoda himself, Frank f*cking Oz) will live up to it's original, but that's a tall order to fill.

A Nightmare On Elm Street
Release Date: April 30, 2010
Starring: Jackie Earle Haley, Rooney Mara, Thomas Dekker

Hands down, the original A Nightmare On Elm Street is my favorite horror movie. At it's time, it was creative and original and had the right mix of horror and humor. Unfortunately, about ten movies later, Freddy Krueger may not be original but he does have a formula, a formula that this movie has tossed out the window. Freddy won't have any funny one liners anymore, and all those creative kills from the first few movies are said to be reused in this remake, only they're CGI now, which takes most of the fun out of it. Everybody who has seen early test screenings said A Nightmare is just... well, okay. It's not groundbreaking or horrific, nor does it have any good actors outside of Jackie Earle Haley, who based on the trailers seems to be an amazing Freddy Krueger. I have hope for this movie, but I'm sure it'll disappoint.

May:

Iron Man
Release: May 7, 2010
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Don Cheadle, Mickey Rourke

Have you seen the trailer for this soon-to-be-epic Blockbuster? If you haven't, let me give you the run down: Tony Stark is doing awesome things and saying awesome stuff. Mickey Rourke apparently has a bone to pick with Tony Stark. Tony Stark races a race car. Mickey Rourke cuts this race car in half with his chain whips! Tony Stark dons his Iron Man suit and Don Cheadle becomes War Machine, then they fight an army of robots, all while Sam Jackson and Scarlett Johansson set up the avengers movie... It has just occurred to me that I referred to Robert Downey Jr as Tony stark while I referred to the other actors by their name, and that's just how awesome Downey Jr. is in this role. He IS Tony Stark. He IS Badass... just like this movie will be.

Shrek Forever After
Release: May 21, 2010
Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz

I'm probably gonna sound retarded for this, but I think Shrek the Third was the only Shrek I really liked... Yeah, so if that should clue you in on how little I like these movies. There is no need for a fourth, and from the poster alone it looks painfully obvious the writers have run out of ideas. Warrior Princess Fiona and a fat Puss In Boots? Ugh. Just ugh.

Sex and the City 2
Release: May 28, 2010
Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristen Davis, Cynthia Nixon

Originally going to be under the "Bad" category, I changed my opinion on "Sex and the City 2" upon seeing this God awful poster. It looks like a preview for a movie based on the "Dazzler" which frankly would be better as it would appeal to the nerdy side of me. Screw this. There is no need for a second "Sex and the City" movie. Hell, there was no need for the first. And There is sure as Hell no reason for a third, which is currently in pre-production. Damn, Mrs. Ferris Bueller.

June:

Marmaduke
Release: June 4, 2010
Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Emma Stone, Christopher Mintz-Plasse

Think "Garfield", but with a smaller pre-etablished fan base and a (hopefully) larger CGI Budget. It stars Amanda Seyfried, Emma Stone, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse, so kiss their promising careers goodbye. I'd rather not waste anymore time writing about this movie, I feel as though I'm getting dumber just by researching it.

A-Team
Release: June 11, 2010
Starring: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson

America! F*ck yeah! ...Sorry, wrong movie. Although, when I saw the trailer for this film, that's the first thing I thought of. Liam Neeson is the sh*t. So is Bradley Cooper. Together, they should make an unstoppable team. Throw in those other two guys (The UFC fighter and District 9 dude) and it just gets better. At first I was debating rather or not this should be a "good" movie or rather just "mediocre", but Bradley Cooper shooting down planes from a "flying" tank is all I need to see to confirm it's badassary.

The Karate Kid
Release: June 11, 2010
Starring: Jaden Smith, Jackie Chan, Taraji P. Henson

Certain movies just do not need remakes. The original Karate Kid is a masterpiece and you can tell by this trailer that the remake is anything but. Jackie Chan just needs to stop. To me his greatest (and only) achievement is his animated series than ran on the WB about 10 years ago. Jaden was pretty dope in The Pursuit of Happyness, but I don't think he can lead a movie. Everything about this remake just screams no, so they might as well just rename it "The Kung-Fu Kid" like originally planned to spare it any further ridicule.

Also, they f*cked up the fly catching scene in which I'm sure the producers thought would be a tad ironic, but instead, just makes me hate this movie more.

July:

The Last Airbender
Release: July 2, 2010
Starring: Noah Ringer, Nicola Peltz, Jackson Rathbone

So this is what M. Night Shamalamadingdong has been reduced to? Revamping Nicktoons. Well, I've never been a fan of the original cartoon series this movie is based on, but I have to say this movie looks cool. It's pretty obvious it won't be good by any means, and Shyamalan's depressing career probably won't be rebounded by this film, but at least it has the chance of kicking a small amount of ass. A chance.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Release: July 16, 2010
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, Teresa Palmer

I really can't explain the awesome terribleness of this movie like the trailer can. It's like a giant preview of decentness:

 

Though I am disappointed by the lack monstrous broom floods.

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore
Release: July 30, 2010
Starring: Chris O'Donnell, Jack McBrayer, Alec Baldwin

Is this sequel even necessary? F*ck this sh*t.

August:

Step Up 3-D
Release: August 6, 2010
Starring: Alyson Stoner, Adam Sevani, Briana Evigan

Movies that should be in 3D: Sci-fi movies, horror movies, action movies, trippy and twisted movies, and Pixar movies. Movies that should not be in 3D: A sh*tty threequel from a sh*tty movie that was developed into a sh*tty franchise. In other words: Step Up
3-D.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Release: August 13, 2010
Starring: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kieran Culkin

Wikipedia says: "Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera), bass guitarist for the garage band Sex Bob-omb, has just met the girl of his dreams. However, he must defeat Ramona Flowers' (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) seven evil ex-boyfriends, who are coming to kill him.". I say: "Possible best movie of the year." This movie is based on a graphic novel by Bryan Lee O'Malley, and according to Kevin Smith (who saw an early screening) is the closest a movie has ever come to feeling like a comic book. Also, there are pictures of Michael Cera doing flips with a lightseaber floating around the web that's apparently from a scene in this film. Mark your calenders world, cause on August 13, Scott Pilgrim is coming for you.

Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang
Release: August 20, 2010
Starring: Emma Thompson, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Rhys Ifans

See: "Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore" above.

F*ck September Movies

October:

The Zookeeper
Release: October 8, 2010
Starring: Adam Sandler, Sylvester Stallone, Judd Apatow

Essentially Kevin James works at a zoo where animals (voiced by Adam Sandler, Sylvester Stallone, Judd Apatow, Jon Favreau, and Cher) tell him how to win the love of Rosario Dawson. So I guess this is just a Doctor Dolittle remake with touches of Clerks 2. Will it be good? I don't know. The premis of the movie sets me off, but seeing Judd Apatow play a elephant, Adam Sandler play a monkey, and Sly Stallone play a f*cking lion appeals to all of my senses.

Jackass 3-D
Release: October 15, 2010
Starring: Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O

"Jackass 3 is a horrible idea. If anything they should just bring back the show... or make a webseries out of it." is what I thought before I heard they were releasing it in 3D. Then my opinion changed completely. I know it's not going to be a great movie, but it'll at least be fun, about as fun as watching Steve-O stick a fire cracker up his butt and shoot it out in a fantastic flash of 3-D, which probably sounds less fun than it will actually be. Also, Bam Margera broke 3 rips within the first month of filming, so hopefully their new stunts will be pretty badass. Taking a old idea and hashing it out in 3 deminsions is all what 3D movies are about... as long as the 3D fits the movie. Take note, Step Up 3-D.

Saw VII
Release: October 22, 2010
Starring: Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Betsy Russell

Saw VII finishs off this month of mediocracy. Now this is supposed to be the last movie, but you never know (you know they'll be more). I wish they'd put this franchise to rest, but Saw 6 was the best Saw movie since Saw 2 and the Saw 6 guys are coming back, so I do have hope. Also, the Saw series was practically made to show off the dazzling effects of 3D in horror movies, so it's about damn time we got a 3D Saw movie! Here's hoping they don't f*ck it up. (By the way, thats hidously crappy movie poster above is not the real deal, it's fake I found online that I firgured I'd use in this article, since an official poster has yet to be released.)

November:

Megamind
Release: November 5, 2010
Starring: Will Ferrell, Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill

When super villain MegaMind (formerly titled Oobermind, played by Will Ferrell) defeats his archrival Metro Man (Brad Pitt), the world should be his oyster. But instead, MegaMind falls into total despair. It turns out that life without a rival is life without a purpose for him. So he creates a new superhero rival, Titan (Jonah Hill). Unfortunately for him and the world, the new hero wants to be a super villain too. The new villain begins his rampage, and MegaMind sets out to stop him, beginning a path to redemption in the process. Damn you Dreamworks. I can't hate you when you make a movie that sounds this fan-f*cking-tastic.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I
Release: November 19, 2010
Starring: Gary Oldman, Alan Rickman, Daniel Radcliffe

I read this book. It's great. I liked every movie except the 5th. They're great. I like Gary Oldman and Alan Rickman. They're great. I like 3-D. It's great. In a nutshell, this movie will be great. You know what else is great? That rumored Emma Watson nude scene in the second part of this movie. Can't wait for 2011.

Red Dawn
Release: November 24, 2010
Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Josh Peck, Adrianne Palick

Certain movies do not need to be remade. Red Dawn is one of them. While I'm sure this movie will be entertaining, it won't have the impact of the original, and there's no way JJ Abram's Captain Kirk's father and a former Nickolodean star can replace Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen. So while I will see this, and maybe entertained by it, I will not enjoy it.

Decemeber:

Tron Legacy
Release: December 17, 2010
Starring: Jeff Bridges, Olivia Wilde, Bruce Boxleitner

'Bout. Flippin. Time. The Dude fighting across cyberspace with his newly found son and that hot doctor from House all while set to a Daft Punk soundtrack? This, my friends, will be the greatest 3-D movie of the year as their is no doubt there will be stunning cyberspace visuals and light cycle races. It's taken 28 years to make a sequel to Tron, but I know it's gonna be worth it.

Yogi Bear
Release: December 17, 2010
Starring: Anna Faris, Justin Timberlake, Dan Aykroyd

I... I don't know what to say about this. Excuse while I go cry myself to sleep.

The Good:

True Grit
Release: December 25, 2010
Starring: Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin

Jeff Bridges second badass looking movie in Decemeber alone turns out to be a remake of a old John Wayne western that will be directed by the Coen Brothers. I can't for the life of me make fun of something this awesome. I just can't. I don't know if Jeff Bridges can live up to any character played by John Wayne, but dammit I have faith in him. What a way to close put the 2010 film year.