There are many, many. many crazy-ass predictions on the web about 2012, the year a whole bunch of cosmic sh*t goes down that will possibly kill us all. Yeah, well, I have my own predictions too. Ready for it?

1) Corey Feldman is cast as Hawkeye in the Avengers movie. His dark yet humorous portrayl revives his career and he later stars in a sleak and mondern movie based on 19th century classic literature, Moby Dick, and later in a stand-alone Hawkeye movie, which becomes Marvel's biggest movie based on a B-character since Blade.

2) Miley Cyrus' third sex tape in two years is leaked online, not surprisingly around the time her Hannah Montana Movie sequel is released. They both flop.

3) A Star Wars remake is announced, with Zac Effron cast as Luke Skywaler, Megan Fox as Princess Leia, Tyler Perry as Darth Vader, and Ansy Dick as C-3PO

4) Back to the Future, Indiana Jones, Die Hard, and The Breakfast Club remakes are also announced, staring Frankie Munez, Jason Statham, Brendan Fraiser, and the cast of iCarly set to star in each respectively.

5) Suicide rates increase.

6) The '70s style pornstar mustache comes back into fashion after Justin Timberlake grows one for the 2012 Grammys.

7) Jupiter is no longer declared a planet because it's too big.

8) After the world realizes Jessica Alba's movie suck no matter how hot she is, she decides to do a nude scene in order to be taken more seriously. The world still ignores her, so she does another and another. She eventually moves into porn and is named Jessic*nt Anal.

9) Katy Perry reveals that she is the world's first successful human clone, of noneother than Zoey Deschanel. It is also revealed that Zoey Deschanel clones will be avalible for purchase by the beginning of the next fiscal year. Suicide rates decrease.

10) The 2012 Mayan calendar is revealed to be true, but instead of the world imploding on itself when the calendar reverts back to the beginning, the dead are reverted back to life and a zombie apocalypse ensue. President Obama in return goes out and kicks zombioe ass, thus ensuring him a second term in office.